Life In London Through My Eyes

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Location: London, United Kingdom

im a 21 year old kurdish girl living in london. im a full time university student

Friday, September 09, 2005

~*~One Last Thing~*~

Knowing that this is the end of a beautiful, real, and respective and once a strong friendship brings tears to my hazel eyes. I never thought the day would come where I felt that I would not see you anymore. I felt that the friendship we had and cherished would be there to help us guide each other when we needed it. You know I’m grateful for the things you’ve done for me but I also want you to know that I’m thankful for the things you have taught me about myself and life.
Best year of my life was 2002. Why? I met you. I met a man from a world that was completely different to mine but at the same time it brought us together and lead us onto a path that we both travelled on, a path that lead us to be where we are today.
We talked and sat in silence together.
We had some rough times that I'll never regret
How we found each other, I'll never forget
You made me smile, you made me laugh, never tried to change me
Never did you ever attempt to disarrange me
You were always there
Always showing me that you truly care
I never had to put up a disguise when I was around you, I never felt a reason to lie
You knew my strengths, and you knew my down-side
Even knowing this, you always took me on a joyful ride.

You probably know this, but I look up to you
Many friends have been made but you were my friend that was true, no matter how far we get torn apart you will always have a special place in my heart.

You’re for a reason, don’t ever forget that. You made you who you are today.

How do you say good bye to someone you love?
How do you make such a decision in the first place?
Reason and emotion don’t go hand in hand.
This goodbye is not a final end but the beginning of a new chapter,
and the creation of a fond memory which will keep my heart company forever.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


I got 2 exams tomorrow and revision is getting to my head i feel like im going mad. I woke this morning to the voice of my mum calling me to come and watch the news. When i went to the living room, the TV was on Kurdistan TV (KDP channel). The report was on the latest suicide bombing but this time they hit Arbil (Hewler)in Kurdistan which has killed 62 people and the numbers are still rising. What is it with these extremists? they havent had enough of fucking up their own land theyre now doing the same with ours!!!!! Anyways.......................i dont do politics so i guess i'm always gonna be baffled!

Moving on swiflty, recently weve had this pigeon who lays eggs in our plants on the balcony. The first time the pigeon laid an egg my mum tried to move it to a better place so that my little brother doesnt break it. While trying to move it she drops and breaks it. Poor pigeon lays 2 other eggs a couple of months later and they hatched early january. Theey lived a couple of weeks and died. I think it was the cold weather. A couple of weeks ago the pigeon laid another 2 eggs and they have now hatched HALLELUYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Theyre quite big now but because its a balcony they havent had much space to practice theyre flying. Awwwwwwww bless them. So anyways, this morning after watching the news i looked out onto the blacony and realised there was only 1 baby pigeon. So i went to the baclony and looked down onto the grass and saw the pigeon there!!!!!! awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I went down there and brought the pigeon back onto the balcony and called the RSPCA, they should be on their way here. The pigeon looks like it has done something to its neck because his neck is twisted lol. In conclusion i think my balcony is

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Before? no After.

Do you ever wish for last year? I do. Every year that passes makes me want to go back the year before. If that makes any sense?
As the years pass me by, i look forward to the future where i will have a career and a family of my own but at the same time i wish for last year. A year where i had longed for the year before and looked forward to the new year that was coming. Confused? So am I.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Jezhni Newroztan Piroz Be

Jezhni Newroztan Piroz
Azadu Shadu Be Xam
Hiwaw Awatim Botan
Durben Le Tarikew Tem
Sifrey Maltan Razawew
Nexon Nani Taliew Kem

Friday, March 04, 2005

My Dream

I had a dream last night that felt so real that it led to me to cry when I awoke.
When I woke up I quickly grabbed my laptop and thought I have to write this down.
The dream was based in a Turkish airfield that was miles and miles away from the city or any other human contact. The only people that were at the airfield were American and Turkish soldiers.

The dream started with Saddam bringing out a water bottle and unscrewing the lid for him to drink. And then appeared an American soldier who told Saddam to raise his arms so he can scan him to see if he has any weapons. That is when I realised that I was actually there too, I was in the body a of Kurdish soldier.
I couldn’t believe that I, a female soldier was right there in front of Saddam standing only 2 feet away from him. I felt rage come over me and thought let me give him a piece of my mind. I started shouting “F*ck Arabs, F*ck Iraq, long live KURDISTAN, long live KURDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I kept repeating this over and over again at the top of my voice knowing that this is something that no other Kurd had been able to do.
Saddam stop drinking his mineral water that had been provided to him by the Americans and looked straight into my eyes with a long cold gaze. I didn’t feel no way because I thought he couldn’t do nothing to me as there was an American soldier standing by and say anything happened, he was there to protect me. Or well at least I thought I did.

Saddam threw the bottle on the floor and ran straight towards me and grabbed me by the hair. I was fighting back , throwing punches kicking him biting him everything that I could do. I managed to break free and just stood there, shocked that no one had come to help me, shocked that this murderer had the chance to touch me.
Saddam stood there picked up a loudspeaker that was nearby and started shouting in Arabic, the cursed language, he was calling all Arabs to come and kill me, he knew he couldn’t do nothing himself so he thought he would call his dogs. I thought, shit I cant handle them all so I started running.
While running images of that soldier standing there not helping me was playing in my mind over and over again, making me think that this must have happened before, Saddam was unarmed and an American chose not to help a Kurd in need so what was to make them help Kurds when Saddam was armed?????????????????????????????? I will leave that for you guys to think about.

Anyways, back to my story. I was running and running crying shouting for help. I ran into a tunnel were there were many Americans and to my surprise Turkish soldiers? What the hell? Why Turkish soldiers? What were they doing in my dream? What significance to they have to Saddam and the Kurds?

All these questions running through my mind with no answers. Still non of them offered to help, so I ran to the UN desk that was at the end of the Tunnel, but even there the people on the desk looked at me like they wanted to kill me.
When I first woke up and realised my dream, nothing made sense, like why was it based in a Turkish airfield? Why not in Iraq, but then I realised just like the Arabs the Turks and Americans are in the same boat.

Having had this written down and off my chest, I guess its true when they say “Kurds are the loneliest nation on Gods earth“.
Americans had the chance to help me in the dream but they chose not to, just like during the times of Halabja back in 1988 were thousands of Kurds were chemically killed. The Turkish authorities gleamed when they saw that I was in trouble, the same way they gleamed when Kirkuk was flooded with Arabs.

Friday, February 25, 2005

First Step

I have read many bloggs recently and so have decided to make one of my own.

I will start with something that has been happening for the last week or so.
A person i know woke up one morning to realise that one side of his face was not operating properly. He went to the hospital and was given tablets and medication and was told that it was a form of stroke that he had had. He cannot close his eyelids and cannot chew food with that side of his face.

This person does not drink or smoke and has spent all his life working in a legit job trying to make ends meet so that life can be good for his family.
I never thought this would happen to someone so close to me and to someone i love so much.

He has been told that it will take several weeks for it to get better so i pray to God every second, every minute, every hour, every day that he gets better.